Living Without A Yaya.

I was playing with Sky in the playground pictured above when a little girl asked me, “Where’s your son’s yaya?”

“Oh, he doesn’t have a yaya..” was my reply.

“Wow, really? I didn’t know that mommies can do that.”

Sure, we have ate Ging now that helps around the house…. But I suddenly remembered how I lived without any help during Sky’s first year of life. Right after I gave birth, I only spent five days living my parents while I familiarize myself with the art of motherhood. After that meager five days, I was catapulted to the level of domesticity that I never thought I would achieve. It was a mind boggling time for me.

I cooked, did the laundry, iron our clothes, cleaned the house and did errands with Sky in tow in a carseat. Aside from that, I breastfed every two to three hours, pumped milk out of my already sore breast for additional supply for Sky for moments that I was not producing milk and slept only three to four hours at time every night for a whole year.

There was even a time that I had a high pile of laundry right beside me, and Sky just cried every time I put him down in his crib. I was getting so frustrated then. But in the end, I just surrendered and we slept soundly together amidst the mess in the house and amidst the laundry that needed washing. Ironically, it was one of the best naps that I have ever taken ever. And I smile whenever I remember that afternoon. I don’t even think that I took a bath that day. But I didn’t care.

After three months, I actually got the hang of it. It was all about time management, and learning to choose what really matters in life. Miraculously, the house was less cluttered, the food cooked on time, the clothes all clean for daily use and I still had enough supply of breast milk for the days when my own supplies were low.

Doing the errands with a baby in tow, also became easier. If I needed to go to the bank, I was there promptly when they open. I did the grocery early too. I just plopped in the infant seat in the push-cart, and I am all set. I even found myself enjoying an ice cream cone in a corner of SM mall of asia, when D is out on a long flight.

There are times though that Sky became impossibly cranky during those times, and again by God’s grace – I got through it all in peace. Sure, my hair was always tied in a pony tail and I always wore jeans and comfortable rubber shoes and no trace of make-up then. But, I was genuinely happy!

One late afternoon back then, I was sweating quite a lot while attempting to place Sky in his infant car seat inside the car at the parking space of festival mall, and just outside the cars door was a couple of bags of groceries and a stroller that needed to be packed away in the trunk. And to top it all, Sky was crying incessantly. I had a hard time getting him buckled up properly. Sky was five months old.

“IT’S WORTH ALL THE SWEAT EY? EVERYTHING YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW IS WORTH IT, MAYBE EVEN MORE.” Boomed an American grandpa at me, who was parked right beside our car.

I gave him a smile through my sweat-laden face. And he drove off.

It sure was worth doing everything that I can for Sky. For being hands-on. A lot of friends and family always wondered how I (and my sisters) can live without household help or a yaya (nanny) if we choose too. It takes a lot of dedication I think, and you live for another human being for awhile.

Besides, when they grow up – you can always have your life back. As they live theirs without you, but with the values you imprinted on them.

Even if you have household help or a yaya (nanny) in the house. Stay hands-on in taking care of your children. Save the yaya for the times that you need a date with your husband or the occassional breather that you might need when things get a bit overwhelming.

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